Depression is killing me?
Hey.. I hate myself for posting this, but here goes. I self harm, I'm depressed, anorexic, bulimic, and I have anxiety.. I'm messed up and no body knows. My friends think I'm cheerful and my parents think I'm just bring a teenager. I'm 13. They joke about it a lot, and say I'm only acting slightly off because I'm a teenager. I'm so exhausted, all the time. I'm so sick and tired of my life- I'm picked on for my cuts such are now a joke to a handful of people, but my parents don't know. I once asked my mom about self harm and depression and she said the people who have it or do it are weak. I can't tell my parents, therefore can't get in contact with a doctor. I can't tell my friends or family, and I'm becoming suicidal... I think. I just want it all to be over. I have a great life, so I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hate myself and my body and I wish I was good enough. Please help me?
Hey there, kiddo. :)
I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you're going through. No one should have to suffer like that.
First off, you need to stop hurting yourself. Try learning how to knit or crochet. It'll keep your mind and hands busy, so you won't end up cutting. Also, why not try a stress ball? Or go for a walk when you feel upset. It could help clear up any negative thoughts.
You have a great life, that's good! That's more than I can say. I've been abused my entire life. I'm 18 and nothing has changed. The abuse is still coming. I've never cut, drank or smoked. I keep my wits about me by keeping myself entertained. If there's something fun I can plan for myself to do at the end of each weekend, I'm less likely to feel upset.You should try it! You don't have to do anything expensive, just do something that makes you happy.
Also, I highly suggest speaking to your parents again. Sit them down and have a serious discussion. It helps it you have someone present who is on your side of things. Maybe an older cousin or family member who can help your parents see reason, and that you really need medical help. And for the record, those who cut are NOT, I repeat, NOT weak. Anyone who says different, is wrong and ignorant. You have your own reason, just like anyone else who self harms. You need help, and it's not your fault people are too blind to notice.
I have no doubt your family would miss you if were to end it all. I can't imagine their faces as they're forced to call 911 because their child took their own life. You shouldn't punish yourself for depression. That's not the way to handle things.
As for the anorexia and bulimia, darling, you're no doubt gorgeous! We are all unique in our own design. Your brain is just tricking you into thinking you're not perfect. Don't let it persuade you. You're going to extremes to get the 'perfect' body, when all you're doing is making your situation worse. If you're truly unhappy with your image, try diet and exercise At least that way, you'd be changing your body in a safer manner.
Again, if you're unhappy with life, it's yours to change! You'd be surprised what you can do with a little perseverance. Don't stop changing until you're happy with life again. You, out of all people deserve to live a better life.
You have a loving family to help you get through any tough situation. Remember that. Just hang in there. I really hoped this helped you. <3