How messed up of a thing was this to say?

I am going to a bbq with my boyfriend. The bbq is at his best friend's house. The best friend has a wife and a child. My boyfriend told me that the wife, "Mary" "likes" him and always flirts with him. He said before she went out with the friend who she ended up marrying, she WANTED to date my boyfriend but my boyfriend turned her down. He also added that she used to be a model, but she is no longer a model. Then with respect to her alleged flirting, my boyfriend said, "you have nothing to worry about though, I am not attracted to her." Um, how about the fact that it's your best friend's WIFE that should be the reason not to worry..not just that you are not attacted? I have to be honest i feel a bit weird about these comments, and I am not sure what to think.

8 Answer(s)

Yea thats kind of a dick thing to say. Many times guys dont realize what they're saying tho ya know. He didn't mean to come off that way. He probably thought you would think it was funny.

Believe your BF that he is not attracted to her, and for you not to worry.

Your boyfriend is insecure and immature. Take that information and do what you will with it.

People say things without pausing for 45 minutes to conduct a mental survey to decide whether they might inadvertently hurt someone's feelings. This sounds like a simple offhand remark about something that he doesn't think of as important.

When a particularly tall dark and fellow happens your say, say something like "Wow, a guy I know looks just like that guy in the green shirt! He's crazy about me! He makes good money and is a competitive skier. Boy does he ever stay in shape for that! His mom and my mom are friends, so I see him pretty often. ... Honey, is something wrong?"

Cut this kind of crap as soon as it starts. "I'm not at all interested in hearing about your previous relationships. Let's talk about something else."

This guy was a jerk to bring it up, a jerk toward you and a jerk toward HER. How is he going to talk about YOU?

your bf is a self centered and probably jealous, jerk. the fact that his best friend's wife, passed on his sorry a$$ should be a red flag for you. move on--and fast!

Most likely, he wanted to "come clean" with you, if you ever learned that she did have a previous crush on your boyfriend earlier.

P.S. I think after dating, marrying and having kids with your boyfriends' best friend, and especially after being turned down, that she is completely over your boyfriend.

Maybe it is now something to laugh about.

For whatever reason known to himself he is trying to get some reaction out of you. The best thing you can do is not take the bait. In a blasé tone of voice just say something along the lines of that's nice and change the topic of conversation.