What do I do when my g/f asks me why people online things she looks "old" and "unattractive"?

She's mostly mature except for this one thing she likes to do. She posts selfies online (on Y!A and on other message boards, not on FB), and she asks how hot people think she is and how old she looks. She's 28, and people think she's anywhere between 25 and 33. She interprets this to mean she looks old. In answering how hot she is, responses are generally "You look alright" which she interprets to mean that she's ugly. She does look slightly older than her actual age, but not by much, and not in a bad way. She's of course doing this because she's self-conscious, but posting it doesn't assuage her self-consciousness, it only makes it worse. She has entered a vicious cycle....She keeps asking me "do you think I look older than my actual age?" and honestly, she does, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I tell her that it's hard for me to answer that since I know her so well, and that yes she is attractive. Not really sure how else to answer...

6 Answer(s)

Tell her that you are tired of hearing this same old crap over and over again and that she needs to deal with her insecurities. Next time she starts just change the topic of conversation. Sometimes you have to show "tough love".

Tell her to think for her self. Tell her to not have her whole identity hang on people who don't pay her bills or wouldn't even go to her funeral. Just assure her she looks fine and that you are not going anywhere and move on.

Another dumb troll story. It is a troll, that never happened

You tell her that mature adults don't post "rate me" pics. The reason people aren't fawning all over her pictures is because THEY are mature and see your g/f for what she is.. which is an immature child. Mature adults don't care about superficial crap like looks.. they care about important things like confidence, intelligence, etc.

If your gf wants to be seen as an attractive, mature woman, she needs to stop acting like an immature teen.

You should respond by asking her why she cares so much what strangers think of her looks.

Only a very insecure person would post their photo and ask people to comment. She wants to hear and be reassured how beautiful she is and how nice her eyes are and what not. She is fishing for compliments and when she does not hear what she wants to hear, she mopes about how ugly she is.....waiting for you or someone else to tell her; ohh, you ARE beautiful, don't listen to them.