Um ok, so everyone at my job did secret santa without me... how should I react?

Best answer: When they ask you next year, tell them no. They will ask why, tell them you were excluded. Don't mention anything unless someone asks you. Sorry they did that and I know how you feel. My first year at one job, they kept asking me why I didn't go to this extended weekend campout. I simply answered that I wasn't invited. I hadn't heard anything about it. I was embarrassed and angry at being made to appear anti-social. I'm not very social anyway, but I would have loved to have gone. A couple years later at the Christmas party, I brought an extra Secret Santa present because I knew the guy who had just started two days before wasn't included. I hate to see anyone excluded.

6 Answer(s)

Go to lunch elsewhere on the day of the exchange.

isn't there any particular colleague you can trust that you can talk to them about this sort of thing. if there isnt then maybe you need to be more sociable with your colleagues

It was certainly a mistake: your name just didn't get on the list for some reason. These things happen. Don't, whatever you do, take it as a rebuff; that will do nobody any good, least of all you.

Your options are:

- Just ignore the whole thing, as oneof suggests. Let it go.

- Find a time when lots of them are around and say 'did the secret santa already happen? How come? I'd been waiting to hear' and let it sink in that you were left out.

- Privately ask the person who asked you if you wanted to take part, what happened and why. You won't find out, but the 'OMG we forgot Shelley' will resonate along the line.

Just don't sit there stewing about it; that's the one response that will definitely do no good at all.

Stay late at work one night and smash all the gifts. Then we'll see how much laughing there is.

Don't give them a care in the world. Carry on at work as you normally do. If someone should bring up the exchange and asks who you had or what you got for your person, just say, "I wasn't told about the exchange" and leave it at that. If you're working at the same office next year and they ask again, decline the offer. You don't want to be involved with these types of people.

When they ask you next year, tell them no. They will ask why, tell them you were excluded. Don't mention anything unless someone asks you. Sorry they did that and I know how you feel. My first year at one job, they kept asking me why I didn't go to this extended weekend campout. I simply answered that I wasn't invited. I hadn't heard anything about it. I was embarrassed and angry at being made to appear anti-social. I'm not very social anyway, but I would have loved to have gone. A couple years later at the Christmas party, I brought an extra Secret Santa present because I knew the guy who had just started two days before wasn't included. I hate to see anyone excluded.