Freaking out about life? Please help? :(?

I'm a 16 year old boy. I'm a sophomore in high school. I was diagnosed with depression and severe social anxiety when I was 14. I literally have no friends. Not even one. My social anxiety makes it extremely hard to talk to people. When I was around 9 years old, I had to get surgery done to remove little balls of skin from the back of my mouth (I forgot what they're called) because they caused breathing problems. They said I'd have bad breath the rest of my life if I got those little sacks of skin removed.Now I have to carry gum everywhere I go. My social anxiety along with my bad breath prevent me from making friends. School is absolute hell for me. My mouth stays shut pretty much the whole day. Everyday its the same thing. Go to school, come home, do homework, play on my phone for a bit, eat, and sleep. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up and that depresses me. I know I want to go to a 4 year college, but I no longer think I'll be able to get in to SDSU because my grades are slipping. I used to be a straight A student, enrolled in all Honors classes. Now I'm only in 1 Honors class, and I have a B in that class. I don't know what I want to major in. I'm currently enrolled in my school's Digital Arts/Photography/Multimedia elective course, but that's because all the other elective courses were either too hard or they were some kind of Performing Art. I'm not even that good at art or using computers. Please help me :( what would you suggest I do to improve my life?

5 Answer(s)

Things are going to get better even if they seem hopeless. For example, I have a relative who was sentenced to life in prison even if he was innocent. But he stayed strong and after 14 years, he was released because the witness recanted. Another example is Mandela who spent around 30 years in prison. He stayed strong and he was finally released and managed to become president of his country and did a lot of good and had a great and happy life.

Hi - I'm so sorry that you have all these problems - it's hard enough being a teenager without all the other things!
First - about the surgery and the bad breath. I can't see why you'd always have bad breath after any surgery. Go and talk to a good doctor about this and ask if it's true. Even if it was true at the time, medicine has moved on SO much in seven years, there will be a way to treat this. I think if you weren't always thinking that your breath smells, you'd be a lot more confident.

You sound like an intelligent young man, so think this through. If you allow depression and anxiety to rule your life, it's going to be a lonely one. I know, because I've had both. I know it's hard, but somehow you have to beat it. Take it a little step at a time, but whatever you do, keep fighting it and don't give up.
Join a club - any sort of club where you'll meet and talk to people - nothing online. I joined an archery club - you aren't expected to be over-social but you do chat to people as you wait for your turn to shoot, and it's great fun! I'd never tried it before, and I'm not brilliant - but it's really helping me.
The worst bit will be walking in the door (or the field) but once you've done that, it gets easier every time.

Please make the effort and talk to people - anyone. And get real, up-to-date medical advice about your breath.
It will also get a lot better for you once you're through your teens - that's always pretty bad for everyone!
Life WILL get better - honestly. But you have to make it happen.
Good luck!

Work on your education and be somebody, people like people with money.

Your statement, followed by a question mark: "Freaking out about life?"

Your directive, also erroneously followed by a question mark: "Please help?"

Secret code used by persons who cannot compose English sentences: ":(?"

More statements: "I'm a 16 year old boy. I'm a sophomore in high school. I was diagnosed with depression and severe social anxiety when I was 14. I literally have no friends. Not even one. My social anxiety makes it extremely hard to talk to people. When I was around 9 years old, I had to get surgery done to remove little balls of skin from the back of my mouth (I forgot what they're called) because they caused breathing problems. They said I'd have bad breath the rest of my life if I got those little sacks of skin removed.Now I have to carry gum everywhere I go. My social anxiety along with my bad breath prevent me from making friends. School is absolute hell for me. My mouth stays shut pretty much the whole day. Everyday its the same thing. Go to school, come home, do homework, play on my phone for a bit, eat, and sleep. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up and that depresses me. I know I want to go to a 4 year college, but I no longer think I'll be able to get in to SDSU because my grades are slipping. I used to be a straight A student, enrolled in all Honors classes. Now I'm only in 1 Honors class, and I have a B in that class. I don't know what I want to major in. I'm currently enrolled in my school's Digital Arts/Photography/Multimedia elective course, but that's because all the other elective courses were either too hard or they were some kind of Performing Art. I'm not even that good at art or using computers."

Your request: "Please help me :( what would you suggest I do to improve my life?"

You really ought not care a lot about what others think of you, especially in a school where some incompetent boobs (the instructors) have unrealistic views of learning theory, human intelligence, and social stratification. You may erroneously get the impression that if you do not get grades of approval from them, you must be some complete social failure.

But that is an illusion. The instructors are just other human beings who had an opportunity and cash to get a college degree with teaching credentials. Some of them turn out to be bullies, ethnocentric bigots, sexual perverts and all the other sort of miscreants one might encounter in society. If they could teach, you would not be perceiving yourself as a failure for not meeting their demands that you learn what they have learned, that you do so immediately on their schedule, and that you prove it by some ill-designed testing schema.

Try to avoid psychiatrists. If you want abuse, psychiatry is the route to go. You probably don't know that yet or why I can claim so with some confidence that my advice is wholesome. The history of psychiatry is largely one of shamans and surgeons abusing prisoners and naive victims. That is not to say that everyone with a psychiatric medical license is a quack (or worse). But as a matter of fact clinical psychiatry over many decades has been a scam and caused immense suffering. Social anxiety and many other so-called psychiatric disorders have not been shown to be diseases or malfunctions of the brain.

The vast majority of human behaviors fall into two categories: innate cognition and learned behaviors.

In the past, before the marketing of psychiatric meds, psychiatrists and surgeons used to poke holes in people's brains (with an ice pick and a little hammer) as a so-called cure for psychosis. It did not work. They did not care. The victims were more easily controlled once the procedure was done and the victims were no longer in a position to complain. The psychiatrists sent a bill for this disservice.

Big Pharma makes huge amounts of cash trying to convince naive persons that somehow some drug will change what you believe, what you think, and how you behave. Few Big Pharma companies selling psychiatric medications will tell a room full of persons, all one gender, with their noses to the floor, that something the devotees believe may not be true. But if one of the devotees blurts out, "I do not believe there is a god" and thereby incurs the wrath of the others, surely some psychiatrist will be willing--for a price--to save the apostate's head by certifying that he or she is mentally ill and therefore not responsible for his or her actions.

The world is a very complex place and most of reality is not readily and directly available to our senses.

Educate yourself. Get the following texts and read each aloud cover-to-cover.

• Where we live:
“Geosystems: An Introduction to Physical Geography” Christopherson, Robert. (Prentice Hall)
• Where we came from:
“Introduction to Physical Anthropology” Jurmain/Kilgore/Trevathan/Ciochon. (Cengage Learning)
• What we have been doing:
“History of the World” Roberts, J.M.; Westad, O.A. (Oxford University Press: 2013)
• Life science:
“Biology” by Raven/Johnson/Losos/Mason/Singer (McGraw-Hill)

Turn off the idiot box including the Internet. You will not get educated from the video infotainment/propaganda industry. Most of it is designed to make people stupid, to convince people to believe weird things for no good reason, all for the benefit of the sponsors paying for the propaganda. Few if any are interested in your welfare. Some sponsors, if you live in the United States, are foreign governments intending to destroy your national security or incite violence along lines of religious affiliation or some unwarranted and impossible race schema (there is no such thing as race, something you will learn in the last text in list above).

How to Think vs. What to Think: A good thing to know when considering the broader implications of human history, popular culture, infotainment, and various political appeals.

• Critical thinking (sometimes called critical reasoning) is the set of skills and knowledge required to determine if claims are true, false, or indeterminate possibly due to insufficient data.

• One half of critical thinking is a broad range of relevant knowledge.

• The other half of critical thinking is formal logic, which by itself sans relevant knowledge is worse than useless except for math and games, perhaps. (That is because logic is not necessarily based on the real world and unreal claims can be logically analyzed just as readily as realistic claims.)

The limitations of knowledge or the fallibility of one’s own mind is not at all obvious to many of us, I am sure. It is extremely difficult to evaluate culturally acquired claims sans rational cognitive schemas. Those sorts of schemas do not naturally develop in one’s mind simply by growing older and are not commonly taught in K-12 schools.

Critical thinking can only develop by learning underlying principles, acquiring a broad array of relevant knowledge, and by practice applying critique to claims.

i feel for you, i was also diagnosed with depression and social anxiety when is was 15, you just have to speak to people, i know it seems hard but thats all i can really say.