I'm suffering from severe depression?
I'm only 15 years old, and I feel like the world is closing on me. I'm nice to everyone, but nobody thinks i'm their friend since I only talk to them in school. I have a best friend, but yesterday she called me annoying and not to call her because she was busy but she said it in a mean tone. My crush, that I liked for 3 years, will probably never choose me out of all the pretty girls. Everyone has been hanging out together and I feel so alone. Yesterday I had a huge panic attack, i couldn't breathe and I felt like passing out, and it was because of what my friend said to me and because my crush will always stare but never talk to me. When I went to bed, I just had a breakdown and started crying, and I thought that God might hate me and be punishing me for something that I don't know about. My brothers hate me because they think that i'm annoying and I talk a lot, but I only do that because I love them and I want them to talk to me more and try to know the real me. I just feel like I got nothing left and that my life will always be like this wherever I go, because I have bad luck and God doesn't like me even though I pray everyday
How are you coming up with ideas about God hating you or punishing you for something you don't even know you're at fault for? It's OTHER people that are making your life hell, and God has no fault in how these people are CHOOSING to treat you. This is not the type of God we have. God explains himself very clear in Exodus 34:6 Exodus
"And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming,
“The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger,
abounding in love and faithfulness,
maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.
Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children
and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”
Just think for a moment about the type of God we have. Yes, he can be angry, and he's a God of Justice, but he's also a God of love, is SLOW to anger. Think about the land of Canaan, the very BAD place that God did not want his people to mix with. He gave them FOUR HUNDRED years to change and they didn't. That's a lot of mercy!
God also used imperfect people in the bible; some that were cowards, full of themselves to where they felt entitled, used a murderer, some that even killed out of greed even when in the sight of God, many that doubted, or tried to get out of working with God because they felt self-conscious. When you see all the people he worked with and used, it is a total comfort, because God is not looking for perfect people. He knows we're not perfect and never will be. But despite our stains and mistakes, he loves us, quite a lot.
Instead of thinking bad about Him (which many of us are guilty of), think about a Father who looks forward to hearing your cries, your worries, your dreams, your goals. He wants all of it, because he doesn't want you to carry the burden on yourself. Worrying does NOTHING to change any situation. Jesus talked about that. The only thing it does is it hurts you, which you nearly passed out from a panic attack. Now, ask yourself, what the heck was the for? Why did you work yourself up over those two things that were not even worth it?
Also, you have to analyze yourself as well. If you are putting WAY too much feeling, energy, happiness, and high hopes into other people, you will be let down. So, this "Crush" that you have on this boy, WHY do you like him? Ask yourself that. Has he stood up for a bullied victim? Has he done some great things for society? Did he give his jacket to a homeless person? Is he extremely nice to people and very accepting of differences? You know nothing about him, You haven't even spoken to him before, yet you like him to THIS degree, and it's unrealistic. It really is. If you like him because he looks cute, then that's not enough. There will be OTHER boys throughout your life. It's not just him. And you're fifteen years old, you have plenty of time for love. RIGHT NOW, you shouldn't be in a relationship like that because you're very emotionally fragile, and when in a relationship like that, you need to be emotionally strong and ready to handle yourself and even your partner.
As for your friend, don't overwork yourself just because she chose to be rude. That was her problem, and it shows she was not able to control her emotions to where she was able to avoid offending somebody else or give off a terrible misunderstanding. She was a lousy friend. That wasn't your fault. Yes, it can hurt, but don't think about over and over hour after hour and torturing yourself about it.
If you're having problem with your brothers, you need to speak to your parents about it. I bet if you were to pass away tomorrow, your brothers would be the first screaming to the sky in missing you. People, even family, will say some things they shouldn't. But we just need to be patient and forgive.
Awww im sure people don't hate you. Anxiety and depression can make you feel hopeless, like you have nothing to live for and anxiety can cause you to overthink everything, making you believe that everyone hates you. Talk to your parents or someone at school for help, you might be able to get a diagnosis, medication and therapy. Be yourself, try to talk to different people join a club or society out of school. Things will get better. Also being 15 and hormonal doesn't help lol. Keep your head up love, you sound like a great person. I think you should go to a doc or specialist for help 😀
there is thousands of ppl who get depressed from once in a while (includes me) and that never means that god hates u, it may mean that god loves u and is making ur test harder because he knows u can do it.
and now u gotta know some basics about depression, being depressed isnt weakness it just means that ur not feeding ur soul which caused u to feel emotional pain like chest pain and boredom and desire to disappear or just die,
there are reasons which cause depression by avoiding them u won't feel the pain and make it better and easier:
-lonliness affect ur mood and make u depressed ,
-staying locked up in one place for a whole a day and not going out
-not having anything interesting to do and having alot of empty time
-anxiety : ask urself, do i suffer from anxiety ( u get scared when u meet people)
depression = tightness in chest + extreme boredom --> very painful
God actually loves you. He loves everyone. There's actually a verse in the Bible where it talks about God is close to the broken-hearted. You may suffering from an attack from the devil. The devil of depression. You should make sure you're praying for the right outcome or way of what you pray.